Sometimes, I read those little text on picture sets that tell me ways to better myself.
And I automatically think “fuck you - don’t tell me how to live my life!”
The thing about Fr!ES 9 is, though: I never expected that the day will come when I begin seeing myself in Nanase Haruka.
Regarding this portion:
How do I live in a world who considered my only defining trait to be my grades, when I can’t even fall back on them anymore? How can I carry on with my daily life, with everyone else watching me, when the actual dreams I have and the dreams people think I should have don’t exactly coincide?
My answer was: find another trait or interest and focus on that. Sometimes, they’re just difficult to find when you’ve been so focused on another. You are not defined by one trait. Find out what makes you happy and find some way to do it. It doesn’t need to be what your life centers around, as long as you still find a way to do it.
As for the expectations of everyone versus your own…I’ve been there and as difficult and frustrating as it is, you’ll feel a lot better when the weight of their expectant pressure is off your shoulders.
I went through all that like a decade and a half ago and now, in my early 30’s, I don’t regret my over all decision. What I ended up studying and my job aren’t anywhere near what I wanted when I was a little kid, but it has allowed me to DO more than I dreamt I would back then.
Ultimately, we can give you all the advice you want, but you’ll have to figure out what works for you and then stick with it.
I was just a few minutes away from picking up my waster, going to the gym, and fendente-ing the shit out of the punching bag because fuck people at work and their inability to read fucking notes